I love qi gong intensives with Michael.  I am even learning to recognize the internal resistance that comes up before these workshops as the friction that builds before a real breakthrough.  This past weekend’s seminar was no different.  I feel like my practice has turned a corner, as always, for the better.

What did I learn? What secret teaching did I glean?  None that has not been presented a hundred times or more over the years that I have practiced, but somehow, on Saturday, it clicked: Less Is More.  It sounds so simple, and it probably is, but for someone like me (who’s probably a lot like you) who has achieved almost everything of note in my life through asserting myself – by applying effort – it took a minor miracle for the message to finally get through.  For all my attempts at softness, relaxation and openness in my qigong practice, there has been an ever present element of striving, of trying, of force.

During the standing meditation, I caught a glimpse of real allowing.  I simply felt what I felt without trying to change it.  The pendulum of experience that has swung so far to one side for all of my lifetime, swung back a bit so that I became aware that another side exists.  I, like most, have so much momentum in the direction of action, of doing, that my sense of its compliment, allowing, has been really only a vague idea.  Sure, I’ve heard (and probably repeated) verbal platitudes about it, but my embodied experience of it has been almost completely lacking.  I literally didn’t know how much I was pushing until I had a moment of true openness to illuminate what might be possible.  It felt Awesome!

So now another phase of work (see, the habit runs deep) begins.  That flash of openness stands almost alone in the face of immense inertia, both personal and cultural, that says to strive is the way.  “Try, and if that fails, try harder.”  It is perhaps an almost impossible task to not try for awhile, yet how refreshing the possibility!  The carrot is dangling squarely in front of my nose.  I want more of That!

- Chadwick Moyer

Filed under: gi gong/tai chi

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!